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Hi there.

Sooo...It's been a while, azn't it? Oh wellz.

Too bad for you.

When I first started working at Meijer I told myself I'd never want to work at the Service Desk because of the shit they put up with from the customers.

Well, I start Service Desk training on Wednesday. Reason being Ron told me they need more people who can work the Service Desk and he and my other bosses think I have the right personality type for the position, and I'm feel I'm ready to handle it. Little birdy Brittany at the Service Desk told me, however, that they're also considering "promoting" me to a Service Coordinator position.

At first I told myself, and everyone around me, that I'd never be interested in being a SC, but now I'm not so sure. It seems like a lot of responsibility IMO...responsibility that I'm not sure I'm ready for. I've been told that it's really not worth the pay-raise on the days that I'm a SC, which isn't really much of a raise to begin with. But it's rather flattering that they think I'm a good choice for it. I get a lot of compliments on my good attitude from my superiors...granted, it's usually Katrina...and she has a similarly "bubbly" exterior as I do, though I'm not as...extravagant as she. If she ever tried I'm sure she could pop an ear-drum or ten when she announces things over the intercom. She's that loud.

They think I'm ready...but I'm not sure I'm ready to handle it. It does interest me, however. Sometimes it looks kinda fun...and other times it looks like it's hell.

I'm rather unsure of what to do now...Any thoughts?

When I first started working at Meijer I told myself I'd never want to work at the Service Desk because of the shit they put up with from the customers.

Well, I start Service Desk training on Wednesday. Reason being Ron told me they need more people who can work the Service Desk and he and my other bosses think I have the right personality type for the position, and I'm feel I'm ready to handle it. Little birdy Brittany at the Service Desk told me, however, that they're also considering "promoting" me to a Service Coordinator position.

At first I told myself, and everyone around me, that I'd never be interested in being a SC, but now I'm not so sure. It seems like a lot of responsibility IMO...responsibility that I'm not sure I'm ready for. I've been told that it's really not worth the payraise on the days that I'm a SC. But it's rather flattering that they think I'm a good choice for it. I get a lot of compliments on my good attitude from my superiors...granted, it's usually Katrina...and she has a similarly "bubbly" exterior as I do, though I'm not as...extravagant as she. If she ever tried I'm sure she could pop an ear-drum or ten when she announces things over the intercom. She's that loud.

They think I'm ready...but I'm not sure I can handle it. It does interest me, however. I'm rather unsure of what to do now...Any thoughts?

I have very low self-esteem.

...Yep. I do.

It's weird, you know...

...That even though I'm the one who happens to have the lowest faith in my family (Out of my cousins and sister, that is.)...I also happen to have the highest moral values.

Well...I think it's weird.

Well, Marty (Older sister for those who don't pay attention) found out from her doctor the other day that she has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

Symptoms include:

Irregular periods
High levels of androgen's (Male hormones)
Weight gain
Pelvic pain
Infertility

She said that I should get tested for it as well, because it's also hereditary.

...Shit...infertility...?

A customer had a heart attack two lanes behind me today during work just as I was going on my lunch. She wasn't breathing, they did CPR for 10 minutes. Paramedics came and put a tube down her throat so they could get some oxygen into her, apparently they found a faint pulse. I came back from lunch and watched as they wheeled her out of the store. She didn't look good at all.

Three of the cashiers freaked out. I was one of them.

...Yeah. Still a little freaked out.

You know, upon pondering I've come to the conclusion that it's probably not a good sign that I have multiple mysterious bruises on my left breast that don't hurt when touched, but randomly sting when I'm doing nothing at all.

It's probably nothing, but they seem to be getting bigger as well...the bruises that is. Not my breasts...they're fucking big enough as it is.

I feel better now, thanks to Jared and Vincent. Still rather confused as to why I freaked out so bad, though.

Oh well.

Why the hell am I so emotional at the knowledge that my baby sister was screwing around with Will? It's not my fucking body, so why do I feel the urge to fucking lock myself in my bedroom and cry? What the hell...? Where's a fucking shrink when you need one?



...Shit...ugh! I really need to fucking talk to someone! I'm so fucking...confused.

...Fuck.

Because Ty told me to, I figured I'd update again. With what, though? With part of one of the stories I've been re-writing. No title as of yet.

( Clickie, peoplez )

Huzzah! There's more there than it seems like there is in the notebook...Huh. Tell me, is it as shit-tastic as I think it is?


Updated - 01-27-06

Merry Christmas, btw.

So, my sister was in a relationship with a guy who was (and still is, mind you) incredibly emotionally attatched to her. From the family's point of view, it's rather weird...and almost frightening. He's almost...stalker-like in his actions. From the beginning all they ever did over the phone was argue, which was a big hint in my eyes that it would never work out. On the other hand though, they do honestly enjoy hanging out with each other.

He seems to have the mindset that he and she still have a chance to be together, even though she knows that she feels nothing for him.

So I've decided to take it upon myself to write him a letter, letting him know gently to back off, and to try to give him a glimpse of what she's going through. Below is what I have written so far. I figured I'd post it here before I bothered to write it out. Perhaps there is something else that should be added to the letter that I may have forgotten?

All comments (even negative, I don't mind) would be greatly appreciated.

-----

Any normal girl will jump into a relationship if she believes that there's a chance that it'll be "the real thing," even if she doesn't feel an initial spark. This is especially true when the guy she's in a relationship with in reality is a great guy when she hangs out with him. However, if things progress too quickly in her mind, even she will be frightened away, just as most stereotypical men would be if the roles were reversed. The thought of a lifetime together is a wonderful thing, but not when you're made to believe it will be right off the get-go.

Girls know that guys aren't perfect, yet every girl wants the perfect man. Yes, when put like that it's a conundrum, an impossible goal, but most flaws we can live with if we truly know that we love the man we're with. On the other hand though, if there are things that she cannot get past, such as extreme emotional attachment towards her when she's not used to it, when she knows that she's normally the one whom is attached, it can open her eyes to the problems with all of her past relationships. Sometimes it takes someone who's exactly like her to make her realize what she needs to change with herself. In the end, if she feels that she can not be with someone who's exactly like her, if she feels that there's no hope for a relationship, then it would be a waste of energy to continue to go after her.

Just because she doesn't love you, doesn't mean you can't still be friends, though in some cases it may be wise to limit contact with each other. Nor does that mean that no one will ever love you for who you are, because there are girls who can love an emotionally attached man. If you are this guy, there is nothing to gain but heartache in pursuing a love that never was and never will be.

Lonely...Lonely...Lonely...

Yeah. Anyway, this is stolen from Mike. Shanks, Mike.



What does your handwriting say about YOU?

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

The second line is like...FREAKY-woah, peoplez.

Okay, so yeah. Tyler (fellow co-worker) told me to update my LJ. So here I am.

3ff y3w 7y13r, 4nd 570p bu99in9 m3 4b0u7 i7. ;D

Okay, so yeah. I'm still neglecting my LJ. But! In my defense, I really haven't felt like it...Not really much of a defense I know, but fuck you. I don't care. ;) You can't make me update.

So what's happening in the oh-so-boring life of Jess? Well...Nothing. Nadda. Zilch. It's still as boring as ever, even if it is filled with a bit more romantic drama than usual. And OMGZ! It involves me this time, too! Can you imagine! Drama...involving me! Romantic even! Wow!...Well...Kinda.

Okay, so ya'll know I like Vincent, right? Well, a little (*koffannoyingkoff*) birdie (Michelle) told me that apparently Vincent actually considered asking me out a few times. Wow. He's like...the first guy I've EVER known to actually consider asking me out. That's sad...isn't it? Yes. Yes, it is. Anyway, since Michelle found out I liked him, I get the impression that she really doesn't want me to pursue it. Id est, she keeps on telling me he's not reliable (Not true, IMO. Every time I've needed a ride he was always willing to give one. Although, that's probably because I gave him $10 every time.), he dropped out of collage (I don't really care.), and she's asked me if I would really date someone who picks on her all the time (Yeah, that's the only thing about him I don't like. And that's something I would definitely talk to him about if, and that's a big if, we ever did hook up.)

Err...I'll finish the post later.

My poor precious LJ! How I've neglected you! Will you ever forgive me!?

Update since the first of September:

Not really much, save for the fact that I turned 21 on the 14th. I had a Kaluah and Cream that night. Twas good, tasted like chocolate milk. :D I haven't gotten drunk once since I hit ye' ol' drinkin' age. Haven't really had a desire to. But one thing that you all should know...

...Smirnoff Twisterz kick sooo much ass! Yummah!

Heppeh Twentehfurst Burthdhey, teh Agie! <3!

I've really been considering getting a breast reduction lately. My chest and back hurt almost 24/7 lately, and last time I went bra shopping, I couldn't fit into some of their DDD sizes. It's like I just fucking keep on growing! It's getting way too hard to find a bra that offers a lot of support. Even with the new bra's I've bought (Underwires, even. I was suprised that they don't hurt me so much), I still have to wear two bra's to get the support that I need. Problem with getting a reduction, however, is that I have no idea how I'm going to pay for one. They cost around the area of $5000. I don't have that kind of money! And I'm not sure if my insurance covers it, seeing as I only have basic insurance, that covers a maximum of $5000 a year

So...if anyone has any ideas on this, lemme know.


Hm...


*sigh* I've also really been crushing on one of my sisters friends lately. He's like...the perfect guy, IMO. Smart, witty, great with kids (Lily just adores him), loves Celtic music (Oi. Kate. Go to Tartanic.com, click "what", then click "brodjam". Sssamples. Me thinks you will be pleased.), AND...He doesn't drink, smoke, OR do drugs unlike all of her other friends.

I really don't know why those two haven't hit it off. They're really close, yet both deny that they're interested in each-other. Best thing I can think of is that they're fond of each-other only in a way that a brother and sister are. They definitely act like brother and sister. Hell, she wails on him when she's pissed just like she does with me, and she even shows sides of herself that she doesn't even show other "close" friends of hers (id est, going insane over not being able to find a hairbrush. Stuff like that.) Also, he says she acts a lot like his mother.

We, on the other hand, have tons of stuff in common. Even he's commented on how much we're alike. He's told me I'm sarcastic just like he is (It helps that he's fun to pick on...). And whenever he and Lily are together I...well...I melt.

*sigh* It'll never happen between us anyway...